Imagine what it feels like to be married for 50 years – a lifetime of shared experiences, ups and downs, and enduring love. This is the essence of what Dr. Kingsley Okonkwo and Dr. Emerson Eggerichs delve into during their session, and it’s a testament to the wisdom they bring to the world of relationships.
With almost 8 decades of experience cumulatively between both professionals, Dr. Kingsley Okonkwo, renowned family life and relationship coach and lead Love, Dating and Marriage Inc. and Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, international public speaker and lead Love and Respect Ministries came together to explore the profound topic of “WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE MARRIED FOR 50 YEARS.” Their insights, drawn from decades of experience in relationship coaching, provided a unique perspective on the enduring nature of love and commitment.
The session, being a highly captivating and emotional one, unearths the different phases of the marital journey from singlehood to highly spirited newlyweds, when the children come, high and low moments in marriage, the conflict years and divorce. One key take away from the session is the need for individuals looking forward to having the same outstanding marital achievement to open up to continuous learning on the subject of relationships and marriage. Investing in one’s relationship and marriage is one of the most important investments individuals will ever make.
And in Dr. Kingsley’s words, “Where you invest is where you reap dividends. It’s wise to invest in your relationship, it yields long term dividend”
Here are a few areas you would like to invest in, in-order to experience a long lasting relationship;
Invest in yourself– it’s crucial to go after knowledge. The more you know about relationships the better you become in loving your spouse and treating them right. Get books, messages and attend conferences that focus on helping individuals achieve good healthy marriages.
“A little knowledge and a little skill will help most couples deal with their misunderstandings,” says Dr. Emerson Eggerichs.
Invest in your spouse– women are largely responders. Most women respond to love and humility. So, one sure way to invest in your wife is by loving her right and being humble enough to make necessary adjustments when needed. With knowledge and skill, most men can learn how to better initiate conversations with their wives and get positive responses. One take away is to note that the essence of masculinity is initiation while the essence of femininity is response.
As always Love, Dating and Marriage is mindful about helping everyone at their respective stages achieve long lasting loving relationships, so here’s a bit of advice from Dr. Emerson and Dr. Kingsley during the session for everyone;
Newlyweds- always remember that your spouse agreed to marry you because they love you. Always remember that they have good will towards you and even when there are challenges don’t entertain negative thoughts that drown your knowledge of their good will. In crisis, sit and listen to one another, seek to understand what your spouse is truly saying and watch what happens.
Active and vibrant couples– always keep your peace as a couple. Know that your marriage is for the long run; a marathon and not a sprint. So pace yourself, don’t try to do everything at once. Also, know that when you say “yes” to certain work decisions, you are saying “no” to something else, so make sure your “yesses” are in favour of your marriage.
Couples going through conflict- always remember that marriages have challenges. It’s unrealistic to think that your marriage will never have one. So, seek clarity from your spouse when these disagreements happen, don’t sweep it under the rug, seek to understand their point of view. Don’t always think that you are right- it’s not about right and wrong, it’s more about different views.
“In conflict, don’t be defensive and reactive; be discerning and lean in to learn what’s going on and what you can do differently”
On the brink of divorce- always remember divorce is not the remedy to your problem; so you need to ask yourself, why am I getting a divorce?, is it my spouses’ problem or is it because I don’t have the knowledge to navigate their peculiar situation? This is because you have far more influence on your spouse than you know, but most people would rather give up prematurely due to ignorance.
Aged Couples- always express to one another how much you value each other, having lived this long together. Don’t wait till they are gone to tell them how much you love and value them. You don’t have forever to do that.
To get more of this relationship enriching content subscribe to Kingsley Okonkwo on YouTube where he has loads of topics he has dealt with alongside various renowned family life coaches. Dr. Kingsley and his lovely wife, Mildred Okonkwo hosts highly impactful relationship sessions for family life and relationship coaches, seminars for married couples, singles conferences, and multi-city tours across America, Canada, Europe, Australia and Africa. They are highly sought after for their outstanding achievements in the field of family and relationships, Domestic violence, Teens and Adolescents, Infidelity recovery and divorce prevention. Their passion is to help individuals around the world achieve the marriage of their dreams.